The elusive hyperlink

There is one thing I have noticed about official Indian websites - they do not do justice to the intellect of our nation. India is one of the nations that generates creative minds a dime a dozen - and more so in the IT industry - but it is unfortunate that Indian government websites are so poorly constructed almost everyone swears at least once while trying to locate information. They want it to be user friendly, but the user is barely friendly at the end of it all.

Websites with good navigation live by the rule that people should never be more than a click or two away from finding what they need, no matter what page they are in. Several US and EU based government websites literally serve information on a platter. They follow the norms of good web-navigation, they are advertisement free, they come with no fancy flash graphics or irritating GIF animations - something Indian websites need to learn from. To quote one instance a year back - a German friend told me that he had a tough time figuring out requirements to obtain an Indian tourist visa from the website. I was mighty embarrassed by the situation.
Let me make a disclaimer here - that most of the Indian official websites have indeed improved over time - one major example is the IRCTC - it used to be full of unused space - and all the wrong fonts were large in size with weird colors that would make you think the last cigarette you smoked had marijuana in it. It has become way better now. Our computerized railway reservation system maintains (and has been maintaining) one of the largest rail networks in the entire world, flawlessly! It's a pity that this brilliant software was, for a long period, accompanied by a website plagued by flash ads and mind numbingly disturbing animated GIFs. Here is a screenshot taken once upon a time and circulated in an "It happens only in India" theme.
During a discussion with a friend, he pointed out that in most cases, the web-designing jobs are outsourced to bhanjas, bhatijas or distant relatives - who may not be qualified enough for the job - but this is difficult to beat in a country where nepotism is predominant within the government.

I would like to say that for a country that can make such a beautiful tourism ad (Incredible India), the websites should be of top notch quality too!

Of balloons and explosions

At Walmart, I am looking for something in the party aisle and there is an old-woman-Walmart-employee also rearranging stuff in the same aisle.

Me: Excuse me... Hi! I was wondering if you have any balloon pumps?
She: Bombs?

Ah, so here's the deal. Inside the lady's head, I am a brown Indian... sorry, brown UNSHAVEN Indian - possibly a terr0ri$t, shopping for bombs in Walmart. And on top of that I am asking a Walmart employee to help me find some.

Damn racist woman.

Kya mara Camera!

Photo SHOOT!
It is with deep regret that I hereby announce that I have damaged my own camera - and it will cost $240 to repair it!
In an attempt to clean it, I ended up leaving lots of microfiber inside the image chamber, and thanks to static electricity, they wouldn't come off. Then I decided to go brute on it, and ended up scratching one of the screens and it all went downhill from there. :(
Anyway, I recalled my camera without having it repaired and I have decided to try to fix all of it myself. I hope I do something good at the end of it...
Here are a few pics I had taken during a trip to rural West Bengal... there are many more photos taken, but I will be putting them up on a separate post.

Meh.

Q: How's my life been? Mind-blowing?
A: Meh.

My dad and his friends lived in a time when India was not the way it is now. When transportation was not all that developed and communication was primarily through postcards and inland letters, because telephones were gadgets of affluence and luxury. At a time when kids could not attend school because the family made less than Rs 5 a month. If you had traveled to a distant land, the only assurance the family got that you have reached safely is not a missed call, but is when they received a postcard from you a couple of weeks later.

Life is a lot simpler now. And for some reason I have a complaint to make. LIFE'S NOT CHALLENGING ENOUGH! What stories would I tell my children as they grow up? His stories (and my late grandfathers' as well) are so exciting! They talk of their struggles which were about getting through the ride of life... it has not been nearly as challenging for me. Even now, I am 25, and I love to listen to my dad tell stories of Naxal attacks, droughts, floods - all in the absence of today's comforts... My late maternal grandfather was a doctor and he owned a horse. He used to ride his horse from village to village to treat ailing people. He was a respected man. The story sounds so inspiring...

I am currently going to graduate school and my life stories are neither interesting nor groundbreaking. Neither is my research life-changing. I HAVE NO STORIES TO TELL. The only stories I can tell my children are of how much I try to save money to buy a good camera accessory for myself. Not nearly as exciting. The story has no repeat value. My children or grandchildren are not going to demand of me to tell the story again.

Thanks to D for having this
thought provoking discussion with me.

WHAT IS THE POINT??!

Want something bright and shiny for your bathroom?

A Swarovski crystal studded commode. Price tag of $75,000. It has gone one lucky owner. Coming soon - studded sinks and studded bath tubs, may be.

Here's some perspective:
Number of homeless in India - 78,000,000
Price to have one decent meal in Mumbai ~ 50 cents.

Something I saw in Ads of the World -

Click for enlarged view

Santa asked not to Ho Ho Ho

Calling someone a 'Ho' and Santa Claus' classic "Ho Ho Ho" have been put on the same footing. Ouch.

According to this news article in FoxNews.com, Australian Santas have been told to change the "Ho Ho Ho" to a "Ha Ha Ha" because "Ho" is slang in US for prostitute. And it could be frightening to children too.

WHAT?!

Yes, it is true, and therefore, the new Santas are being trained for using "Ha Ha Ha" - some have quit. I wonder why. Santas are now rebelling against this ban because they all feel (quite strongly) that kids wouldn't understand what 'Ho is! Moreover, it's destroying something traditional, something which we all have heard all our lives.

In my opinion, if a kid is aware what a 'Ho is, he is too old to sit on Santa's lap.

Santa Claus image taken from www.clipartguide.com

Kokipedia

KOKIPEDIA finally launched!!
by Gaurav Bhardwaj

STATE COLLEGE, PA. The much awaited “Kokipedia” was finally launched in early hours of morning today at a function organized at this knowledge capital of Central Pennsylvania. The new ‘know it all interactive knowledgebase’ derives its name from Latin word ‘Kokos’ meaning Kokonad Sinha and ‘Pedious’ meaning knowledge. The crowd went berserk when the name of knowledgebase was released. People think it could not have come at a much better time.

The crowd was upbeat and believes that it may be answer to all the confusion in the world due to Wikipedia and all and this knew knowledgebase may hold answers to all the people’s problems. It’s just a matter of meeting or calling Koke now. As D said, “Koke knows it all” and frankly this has been the general perception for a decade or so now. When questioned about his huge knowledgebase, Kokonad Sinha modestly said, “It's all due to instruction manuals!!” Koke’s affection towards instruction manuals is a well known fact. He holds the record for reading most number of instruction manuals in a year. Another related record that Koke holds is for assembling maximum number of furniture items in a year. Earlier this year, Koke also raised the issue of making the instruction manuals of APOLLO 11 public. The issue generated lot of public attention and had caused quite a storm in senate.

“There was no need for a Beta version, we all agree about the soundness of our knowledgebase” replied the Kokipedia Team when asked about the need of releasing a beta version first.

None of us can actually fathom the depths of this knowledgebase as of now but one thing is sure that this day will be remembered as the day when attrition of Wikipedia started.

Disclaimer and fine print (MUST READ): The editor of this blog (Kokonad Sinha) has nothing, NOTHING to do with this post. Also, he has nothing to do with the picture of himself used in that obscure rubik's cube. It was solely the idea of everyone but himself. Gaurav Bhardwaj, the author of The Antisense Strand, is going to attend to all comments on this post.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

This is what PhD does to people!

Like, I didn't see it coming!

Ok, some awesome dude from Delhi searched in Google for "show me photo gallery of sexual intercourse" and got my blog as one of the results.

My blog!
MY BLOG!
He didn't visit it, but Google returned my blog as a result nevertheless.

(Source: My account in Google Analytics)

I am kind of glad that I didn't put Google AdWords in my website. God only knows what kind of ads I would have got listed here - thanks to Google's algorithm of putting text ads on the basis of relevant words. May be this?

Do you blog and are you LONELY?
Do you feel the NEED for someone? Or something?
CLICK HERE FOR INSTANT* RESULTS!


*The instants may vary.

Educationalists suffer from dementia

The CBSE syllabus in India has decided to mellow down the sex education in their syllabus. Wait a minute, did they have one to start off with? Or was I not paying attention in class when they were covering sex education?

While words like masturbation, arousal and sexual intercourse have been deleted from the revised version of the training manual for teachers, diagrams which describe the journey from puberty to young adulthood have been done away with. This modified version is set to reach schools in a few weeks.

Source: Times of India

This is what the "educationalists" have been saying in defense. My reaction to each of them was "What the...?"

[...] Don’t impose degenerate western culture on Indian schools [...]

[...] India has not given HIV/AIDS to the world. If the world had followed the Indian tradition of one wife or one husband, this disease would not have developed at all. [...]

[...] if the sex education was introduced in any form, episodes like Nithari village would repeat in every school and locality of the country. He said just withdrawing students from the schools where sex education is being introduced is not enough, we need to firmly ensure that it is not introduced at all in any school [...]

[...] It is claimed that the objective of imparting sex education is protecting the students from HIV/ AIDS, but the syllabus prepared for it is so much indecent, damaging and obscene that it will increase the disease on a much higher speed. We don’t want that abortion centres should be opened in schools like that in Britain, morning pills need to be given to teenage girls like that in France, increase in number of unmarried mothers like that in America and teachers sexually exploit their students like that in New Zealand [...]

Source: Organiser

Face the nation (hosted by Sagarika Ghose, CNN-IBN) has the script of the debate between, as I put it, realists and educationalists.

To put it mildly, I am outraged. Are these "educationalists" idiots or are they idiots? More importantly, in their childhood, did they look down at themselves and figure out there was a "branch" growing out of them that stiffened on its own accord?

UPDATE: Sree narrates an incident in her life that took place recently. Death of someone because of AIDS - her husband was infected. May be it could have been avoided if people knew more about HIV/AIDS than they do now. How unfortunate.

The stray and the astray

So the Mumbai municipality has decided to approach the SC for permission to KILL all stray dogs to stop the stray dog menace.
I wonder if it will extend the same thing to the millions of people who are homeless.

Related News:
From IBN Live
Google News search results

I am more equal than you are

I used to have a pretty strong opinion about the whole reservation-quota-being-increased hue and cry. That was till I read this story from Tehelka.com. It gave me a shocking revelation that casteism still exists among the students of my generation. I thought the whole concept of a higher caste looking down upon a lower caste existed only among a generation that was slowly phasing out. Was I too naive?

Excerpts from this article -

I told him I had stood first on the Scheduled Caste list. The next moment I found myself outside the room, on the ground; he had pushed me out. That was just the first day.

Ever since, I have been reminded of my “low” status every moment I have been here. I was the only “Category” student in my wing. One day, I found this on my door: “Nobody likes you here. F**k off.” On another day: “Everybody can use the carom board, but not Room No 45.”

It is true that not all General Category students are casteist, but caste cuts through everything at AIIMS. They won’t talk to us.

Derogatory remarks were common: “Yeh chamar log kya karenge?” They were always trying to start fights so they could bash us up.

I knew I would fail when the only question I was asked on my viva was: “What is your involvement with the Thorat report?” Six or seven students had scored lower in the internal marks than I — all passed, I did not. I was failed in medicine in my re-professional exam by one-and-a-half marks.

How effective is the education system really when all through till the 12th grade, it has been teaching us that all are equal?

Another question - would he have faced the same problem amongst his peers and superiors had he not claimed he was a "category" student?

Is tagging one as a "category person" really helping the country? (Previous post - Living in a box)

Losing focus: Moral policing

A fable:

Nationalism - He cut it, she wore it.

First it was Sachin Tendulkar.
Now it's Mandira Bedi.

There was a cake that had the Indian flag on it.
A saree was designed with 16 flags of the countries participating in the CWC 2007.

He cut that cake.
She wore that saree, with the Indian flag located near her feet.

Verdict:
He disrespected the country.
She disrespected the country.

And now there are charges against both of them. Are the law enforcers in the country succumbing to the whims and fantasies of the ones seeking publicity? After Tendulkar's cutting-the-cake came the Gere-Shetty episode and now Bedi's insulting-the-flag is the limelight of the so called moral police.
It would fall on deaf ears if I mention the unending list of things that need fixing in the country. Corruption, rape and female infanticide to name the top few. And while I was writing about this - a thought crossed my mind - the moral policemen have decided that the reason for rape in the country is actually provocative dressing by women. So the main culprit is not anatomy of the male genitalia, instead it is the choice of dressing by women.

Is the country's attitude slowly becoming irreparable?
Have we veered off the path to overall development by defining obscure and ridiculous things as a basis of discipline... what's happening of this country where whistle-blowers are being mercilessly killed or having their lives ruined by the ones in power?

On a completely unrelated note, the sari looks awful.
And my comment on Tendulkar and the cake - when we put a birthday boy's picture as icing on his cake - are we insulting him?

Of cultural sentiments, hugs and kisses

From The Daily Collegian, 27th April 2007

This news article appeared in the daily published newspaper (The Daily Collegian) of my university - staring at everyone in big bold letters.

Click to view larger image.

Aaaargh! Don't publicity seekers (the judge, in this case) in India EVER realize what a big fool they are making of themselves voluntarily? A silent satirical mockery has been made of "publicity seekers" and frankly, many of us are plain EMBARRASSED that it has been printed in a paper with a readership of over 40000 students from all over the world. I actually tore it off and scanned it so I could just put it up here... my emotions are a mixture of ludicrousness, sympathy and embarrassment at the same time.

Spotted in this article -

"their kiss at a public function transgressed all limits of vulgarity and have the tendency to corrupt the society"

What tendency to corrupt is this judge (the one issuing the arrest warrant against Richard Gere) talking of, in a society riddled with fiscal corruption, rape, child trafficking and atrocities to womankind? A playful peck on the cheek to compliment someone is NOT corruption of social customs! Don't even get me started on that age-old argument of "hurting the religious customs and culture of India". Who gave them the license to rule what is the right culture? Isn't culture and open-mindedness a relative thing?

It's a wonderful world. Not.

It is becoming an increasingly disturbing trend as to how Indians are now seeking out reasons to show agitation, grief and discontent - and bringing public life to a grinding halt.
Fine. That is acceptable to an extent.
But unprecedented deaths in these situations cannot be justified under any circumstances. Whether the public grievance is real or imaginary, it is provoking a riot and an apparently inevitable death of a number of people, that cannot be ignored. The bottomline is that this is a practice so wasteful, so pointless that it is hard to believe that the people involved are not realising it!
Frenzied fans of the thespian Rajkumar went on a rampage in Bangalore, pelting stones and targeting vehicles in and around the stadium where his body had been kept. Six persons, including a police constable, were killed in the violence.
Why? Why did the people have to resort to violence because someone died of perfectly natural causes? Why did they have to resort to burning down buses and stalling everything? What is the whole point!?!
The latest this is that now, residents of Vadodara are rioting because an old dargah that is two centuries old was demolished by the local municipal corporation. So far five people have been killed and several injured. Curfew was imposed in the area to put a stop to the gruesome killing, especially after an unruly mob of 1500 set ablaze a car burning alive a muslim gentleman, late on Tuesday night. In the Vadodara incident, the government bodies claim that they were only going ahead with a well-announced demolition drive aimed at all kinds of illegal structures, including shops and temples as well. The demolition order was preceded by an effort from Muslim organisations to have it declared as a heritage structure, which was refused by the mayor of Vadodara. The mayor's justification was that there is no dearth of such places of worship that spring up on public land and that they should be treated like any other illegal structure.
A weird incident - A couple in Gujarat exchanged wedding vows over the telephone after the bridegroom could not make it to the ceremony due to violent clashes in the bride's city.
What all this really tells us that Indian people are not capable of managing discontent without having chaos on the streets and public areas, which leads to the pointless and tragic deaths. It is as if mobs looting, damaging and burning public property and stalling a normal life have become the symbols of protests and anger in democratic India.
All the sane and probably more effective methods of raising objections or debating have become useless and irrelevant. Killing, violence and unrest have become the first choice of the aggrieved!

The irony of it all? While all of this is claimed to be in public interest, it is the public that suffers the most.

What a pity.

--
Other blog entries in Mostly Pointless related to recent happenings in India

India Files: This is outrageous! (April 4th, 2006)
Textbooks in Rajasthan compare Indian housewives to donkeys, and call the latter more loyal.
Living in a box (March 30th, 2006)
The proposal for 50% reservation in premier institutes in India - a few quoted reactions and a proposed solution to the issue.

India Files: This is outrageous!

A textbook used at schools in Rajasthan compares housewives to donkeys, and suggests the animals make better companions as they complain less and are more loyal to their "masters", an Indian daily reported on Tuesday.

"A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master," the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant for 14-year-olds.
The book was approved by the state's ruling (party name deleted) government but has sparked protests from the party's women's wing.
State education officials in Rajasthan, known for its conservative attitude towards women, said people should not be upset by the comparison, the paper said.
"The comparison was made in good humour," state education official was quoted as saying. "However, protests have been taken note of and the board is in the process of removing it (the reference)."

This is bad. Really really bad. I am at a loss for words. Related news pieces (Google News) can be found here.