Santa asked not to Ho Ho Ho

Calling someone a 'Ho' and Santa Claus' classic "Ho Ho Ho" have been put on the same footing. Ouch.

According to this news article in FoxNews.com, Australian Santas have been told to change the "Ho Ho Ho" to a "Ha Ha Ha" because "Ho" is slang in US for prostitute. And it could be frightening to children too.

WHAT?!

Yes, it is true, and therefore, the new Santas are being trained for using "Ha Ha Ha" - some have quit. I wonder why. Santas are now rebelling against this ban because they all feel (quite strongly) that kids wouldn't understand what 'Ho is! Moreover, it's destroying something traditional, something which we all have heard all our lives.

In my opinion, if a kid is aware what a 'Ho is, he is too old to sit on Santa's lap.

Santa Claus image taken from www.clipartguide.com

The Coke side of life

Many people, no, MOST people write my nickname as Coke, instead of Koke, because they are phonetically the same. And when it comes to my actual name, it has been subject to quite a bit of comical massacre (read Mostly Pointless: Whatsisname).

Anyway, on quite a seemingly irrelevant topic, I love this Coca Cola advertisement screened often in the cinema theaters here. It is based on the very popular game Grand Theft Auto about how the rough and hard central character of the game is behaving "nice". :-) The soundtrack appealed to me the most and it is taken from the movie Bugsy Malone starring Scott Baio and Jodie Foster.

YouTube Video (0:58 min)

Seminar Appeal

As a grad student myself, who attends several seminars I relate to this greatly.

Additional factors:
Do they shut off the auditorium lights?
Are the seats comfy?
Is my adviser going too?

Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

Crossing the road in India has over the years developed into a talent that exhibits a commendable amount of agility, tact, tolerance, diplomacy, unagi, love, presence of mind and also the ability to count the wheels of an oncoming vehicle. Yeah, because more the wheels of the vehicle, the harder it's gonna come and hit you. That's why standing in front of a moving train is often frowned upon.

It has been a little over a year since I have been in the US, and I have am greatly used to the driving rules and system followed here. Driving within lanes, keeping distance between vehicles, NOT crossing any solid lines whatsoever, stopping at stop signs etc. The most important one - YIELDING TO PEDESTRIANS! Yes. The oncoming traffic will stop for you to cross the road and the driver is going to wave at you wishing you a good morning/evening/weekend/Christmas. And you wave back with a smile.

I came from a country where pedestrians are treated like maggots - the drivers don't want them on the roads, so they might as well knock them down (and run away, as many have). It took me and my friends quite a while to get accustomed to the US system of road regulations. No matter how big the vehicle, it's going to stop. for you to cross the road. Trust me. Unless it's a train. Or an aeroplane. Or if you are being really adventurous and are attempting to cross the freeway or the interstate.

I think the rule is - Lesser the number of wheels, more the respect you've got on the road. Bicycles are next to pedestrians. But then unicycles are above pedestrians. Because even pedestrians stop to look at or look out for unicyclists. Unicyclists are funny.

After obtaining a license for driving in the US, my American colleagues often asked me if I had trouble getting used to driving on the right side from the left side of the car. To which my reply had always been "Naah, that was never a problem. In India they drive on both the sides of the road". Another day, I searched for Indian driving on YouTube and showed it to my American research colleague and the few minutes of screening were punctuated heavily by
"Oh dear God"
"What the..."
"Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod..."
"Aren't they scared?!"
"He's gonna die! He's gonna be roadkill!"

Anyway, now I think I have got too used to the US driving, which according to some people, is boring, because nothing happens. It's made me soft. Now I am going to India for a couple of weeks to a city with one of the most understanding, accommodating and affectionate traffic personalities ever - Kolkata.

Photograph courtesy: http://www.chickenssuit.com
Check this out!: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Movie Review: Beowulf

Spoiler alert: This movie will spoil your evening.

Angelina Jolie was the best part in the movie. But it had nothing to do with the movie.

This movie with 3D digital actors is about kings and heroes falling to the temptations of demon temptress based on the mythical plot of Beowulf. About monsters and dragons set upon those who do not keep their promises. About the wrath of a woman scorned. But apparently the plot did follow the actual story as Gaurav writes (read Beowulf: What the hell!!!!) .

Oh and yeah, no prizes for guessing that Angelina Jolie played the temptress. Anthony Hopkins plays King too, but his robe kept falling off. And all he kept announcing was "let's drink and be merry". He said something about a curse also...

The movie was hilarious too. Rolling on the floor laughing funny. But that was not the director's intention. For a greater amount of time, the hero was in the nude. Yes, there was nudity. Was there male frontal nudity? Yes. But his... er... *masculinity* on several occasionally was hidden by someone else's arm, helmet, sword, pole, smoke, fire, specter, dragon, a gold trumpet etc. For example, when Beowulf was being seduced by the temptress, his (raging) masculinity was masked by a long sword. (P)Unintended humor?

This movie was a giggle fest. The plus side? The animation was brilliant. And all the unintended humor.

YouTube Movie (1:52 min)

Rating: 5/10
Recommended? Only if you have nothing better to do. Or if you want to point and laugh at a movie probably intended to be serious.

Other movies reviewed in this blog

Cirque du Soleil

Thanks to my research colleague, I got to go to a show by Cirque du soleil. And boy oh boy, I DID NOT REGRET IT. They had come to my university for a show named: Saltimbanco.

Cirque du Soleil (French for "Circus of the Sun") is an entertainment empire based in Montreal, Quebec, Canada and founded in Baie-Saint-Paul in 1984 by two former street performers, Guy Laliberté and Daniel Gauthier. Acclaimed by more than 30 million people worldwide, Cirque du Soleil has reinvented and revolutionized the circus arts.

http://www.thinkwelldesign.com/

Stunning human acrobatics. No ring and no animals helped make Cirque du Soleil what it is today. Each show is a synthesis of circus styles from around the world and has its own central theme, soundtrack and storyline which enthralls the audience into the performance by having no curtains, no pauses whatsoever, continuous live music and performers seamlessly from one scene to another. The stages are majestic, huge and their show is not limited to the stage in front of the spectators. It is spectacular, and sprawls from above the audience to water pools. The Cirque du soleil have shows all over the US, and if you ever have a chance to go for one, definitely go for it. It's like 3 hours of perpetual goosebumps. Ooohs, aaahs and acrobats flying out and in so smoothly - like clockwork. The best (and outright scary) part is that they do not use safety nets... and if one person falters even by an inch, the whole stage collapses... it's amazing how they manage it.

YouTube video: From their website (3:25 min)


YouTube video: Promo for Cirque du soleil (0:50 min)

Makes me wanna go to a Riverdance show too.

Which should be sometime in the coming Spring hopefully.

Movie Review: Martian Child

The story of a man becoming a father... and a boy becoming a son.

John Cusack plays a yet another amazing role in this 108 min movie, as a writer (David Gordon) adopting and adapting to a child, Dennis, with reclusive social tendencies. Played by Bobby Coleman, Dennis believes that he is from Mars sent on a mission to earth. Though difficult to communicate with, he is smart and a fast learner and happens to have a sense of humor.
However, due to unsociable characteristics of Dennis, the CPS (Child Protection Services) is skeptical of David's capabilities of fathering this child, and wants to have the child transfered to a "special needs" school. The movie sails through several elements of parenting and accepting the eccentric. It helps the audience empathize with the constant expectation to be "normal" in the society.

YouTube Video (2:30)

The character of David Gordon is based on the real life David Gerrold, author of "The Martian Child". The movie is based on the same book, and as a plot treat, involves the character of David Gordon penning the first draft of the very same. The movie has its funny moments for the greater time and is craftily written. Even if you don't make it to the theater, I would recommend renting it when the DVDs are out.

Movie rating: 8/10

Recommended (similar) movies:
I am Sam, K-PAX

Other movies (p)reviewed in this blog

Lovestruck

Patrick Moberg (not insane) was so smitten by a girl he saw on the NY subway, that he made NYGirlOfMyDreams.com with this image on it. On the bottom left, he provided his email and phone number (now struck out) - and the general intention was to spread it online till she gets to see it.
That was on the 4th of November. Today, the 8th of November, his website had this image to add. "A friend of hers came across te site, recognized the description, and sent me an email. We've been put in touch with one another and we'll see what happens!"

Wee bit romantic, I say. :) People all over the world were rooting in for this to happen. For the cynics, it might seem fake. There are several comments to substantiate how trash it is.

Anyway, it reminded me of Daniel Powter's Bad day.

YouTube Video (3:41 min)

Movie Review: The Darjeeling Limited

"I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy."

Adrien Brody on India, as Peter Whitman in The Darjeeling Limited

Three brothers meet up a year after the demise of their father to make a journey that starts aboard a train named The Darjeeling Limited. The movie starts off looking like it's going to be a spiritual journey - but it's something else. It's not about emotions running high. Not about the typical epiphanies shown where brothers realize at the end of the movie that they are meant to be with each other.
This movie is of humor and wit. Of brotherhood and friendship. Of life, love and responsibilities. Made with style, fantastic cinematography and finesse. How seemingly meaningless events in ones life changes perspectives or strengthens them.

And a whole lot of India.

The use of humor is both a mix of fortunate accidents and witty lines. The movie is splashed with a lot of Hindi, so much that it feels like Wes Anderson targeted an Indian audience for this movie. My favorite scene in the movie is when the train they are going in stops for a long time in the middle of nowhere.

Francis: What's going on?
Brendan: I don't know, I guess the train's lost.
Jack: What did he say?
Peter: He said the train is lost
Jack: How can a train be lost? It's on rails.

Movie Trailer: The Darjeeling Limited (2:22 min)

The movie scenes are witty, and camera sequences are brilliant in terms of creativity and execution. While most of my friends said that there was no plot really and see that as a bad point in the film - I differ slightly on that aspect. While I agree that the film is slightly episodic in nature, with no moral to take home, the direction and treatment of various aspects of strained human emotions are tastefully done. On a sublime level, it deals with life, living life and death as well in a way that makes you be a part of the movie in the very same steps as the characters.

Natalie Portman, Bill Murray, Irrfan Khan and several others make cameo appearances. Bill Murray does not even talk in the movie! Some rural concepts and behavioral patterns in India have been beautifully portrayed. But what was not clear from the movie was which era of post-independence it was set in. While the iPod was shown to exist, India seemed to be in the 60s-70s in terms of technological and railways development. Though on a bus used in the movie, the symbol of "50 years of Independence" was painted (could have been a goof). The movie is shown to be shot in Jodhpur and nearby places, apart from Darjeeling. Several pristine locations in India have been used for shooting several scenes - the temples, the deserts and the tiny cities. The trains (The Darjeeling Limited, The Bengal Lancer) give the impression of today's Palace on Wheels. Used primarily by tourists and foreigners, the "stewards and stewardesses" applied kukkum to the passengers and offered lemon juice to them when they boarded. Like I said, great attention has been paid to the tiniest of details. There was a mix of local Indians who knew English and who didn't. The plot also accounted for emotions being lost between the characters because of the language barrier. A lot of the Hindi splashed in had humor, which were not shown in subtitles - which is OK for the Indian public - but the Americans would have benefited from subtitles. There were several occasions when the Indians in the cinema hall burst out laughing because the humor was in the local dialect, but the Americans didn't quite get it :-).

The soundtrack is excellent, with music borrowed from some of Satyajit Ray's movies (eg. Apur Sansar and Charulata) and several classical Indian composers. Among the other songs borrowed, The Kinks' (Strangers and This Time Tomorrow [in trailer]) and Peter Sarstedt's (Where do you go to my lovely) songs were the best.

On a whole, a wonderful treat from Wes Anderson, makes you think of his earlier movie - The Royal Tenenbaums.

The Darjeeling Limited: A must watch for appreciators of good cinema.
Rating: 9.5/10

Movie Preview: The Kite Runner (2007)

I had read Khaled Hosseini's best seller - The Kite Runner a couple of weeks back. What struck me most about the book was the author's style. It was not about the flair of fine literature. The sentences were simple, and they hit you hard. It was raw prose - that depicted every emotion in a crude way at face value. About the turmoil when one lives through with a horrible truth of cowardice all his life. About the frustration of trying to live up to another's expectations. About love. Lies. Destruction of one's land of birth. War. Humans treating other humans as animals.

About betrayal. About redemption.

From the director of Finding Neverland and Monster's Ball, comes this movie releasing next month. Looking forward to watching it.

Preview: The Kite Runner (1:54 min)

Kokipedia

KOKIPEDIA finally launched!!
by Gaurav Bhardwaj

STATE COLLEGE, PA. The much awaited “Kokipedia” was finally launched in early hours of morning today at a function organized at this knowledge capital of Central Pennsylvania. The new ‘know it all interactive knowledgebase’ derives its name from Latin word ‘Kokos’ meaning Kokonad Sinha and ‘Pedious’ meaning knowledge. The crowd went berserk when the name of knowledgebase was released. People think it could not have come at a much better time.

The crowd was upbeat and believes that it may be answer to all the confusion in the world due to Wikipedia and all and this knew knowledgebase may hold answers to all the people’s problems. It’s just a matter of meeting or calling Koke now. As D said, “Koke knows it all” and frankly this has been the general perception for a decade or so now. When questioned about his huge knowledgebase, Kokonad Sinha modestly said, “It's all due to instruction manuals!!” Koke’s affection towards instruction manuals is a well known fact. He holds the record for reading most number of instruction manuals in a year. Another related record that Koke holds is for assembling maximum number of furniture items in a year. Earlier this year, Koke also raised the issue of making the instruction manuals of APOLLO 11 public. The issue generated lot of public attention and had caused quite a storm in senate.

“There was no need for a Beta version, we all agree about the soundness of our knowledgebase” replied the Kokipedia Team when asked about the need of releasing a beta version first.

None of us can actually fathom the depths of this knowledgebase as of now but one thing is sure that this day will be remembered as the day when attrition of Wikipedia started.

Disclaimer and fine print (MUST READ): The editor of this blog (Kokonad Sinha) has nothing, NOTHING to do with this post. Also, he has nothing to do with the picture of himself used in that obscure rubik's cube. It was solely the idea of everyone but himself. Gaurav Bhardwaj, the author of The Antisense Strand, is going to attend to all comments on this post.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

This is what PhD does to people!

Frankly ridiculous science

Honoring achievements that first make people LAUGH, and then make them THINK. That's the tag line associated with the Ig Nobel Prizes. A welcome change from the daily grind in the lab - an intention to make us recognize and identify with incredibly relevant and important issues in our lives.

Sometimes they are mildly amusing.

Like the fact that the presence of humans tend to sexually arouse ostriches. Or the fact that you can have safe sex at zero kelvin. Did you know there is a concrete relationship between country music and suicide? There is a study on the nature of injuries caused by falling coconuts. Effects of ultrasound in cheddar cheese. Why the woodpecker gets no headaches. Does a swimmer move quicker in water or syrup? Invention of an aerosol for underwear that may help determine if a husband was faithful or not. Use of quantum physics for achievement personal happiness. Farting loud as a means of protection from excessive fear.

Some winners in 2007
Source: http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html#ig2007
A penetrating medical report on sword swallowing and its side effects.
Invention of a method to extract vanilla fragrance from cow dung.
A study that shows that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards.
A spellbinding manuscript exploring the seemingly boundless appetites of human beings, by feeding them with a self-refilling, bottomless bowl of soup.
My favorite this year - The US Air force won the Ig Nobel Prize for PEACE for instigating research & development on a chemical weapon - the "gay bomb" - that will make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other and want to make love, not war.

Ceremony trivia:
The Ig Nobel Prizes are a parody of the Nobel Prizes and are given each year in early October — a week before the genuine Nobel Prizes are announced. Organized by the scientific humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), they are presented by a group that includes genuine Nobel Laureates at a ceremony at Harvard University's Sanders Theater. Nominees can come in any attire they like. A speech is made on receiving the award, but not longer than a minute. When the lime limit is broken a girl named Miss Sweetie Poo appears on the scene to say ‘Please, stop! I am bored’ in a high-pitched voice. The closing line of the ceremony is always "If you didn't win a prize — and especially if you did — better luck next year!" The first Ig Nobels were awarded in 1991, at that time for discoveries "that cannot, or should not, be reproduced." More of the same at The Journal of Irreproducible Results.

End note:
Gaurav has chosen his research topic so he has a chance to win the Nobel Prize in every field except Peace and Literature.
Other mock awards:
Golden Raspberry Awards for bad film work
Darwin Awards for fatally foolish behavior
Pigasus Award for paranormal fraud (U.S.)
Bent Spoon Award for paranormal fraud (Australia)
Stella Awards for "outrageous" lawsuits

______________________________________

Sources:
http://www.improbable.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize
http://newsfromrussia.com/science/tech/15-10-2007/98832-ig_nobel_prize-0

You there, Indian male! Marry me.

A month back, this hilarious piece Vladimir Radyuhin appeared in The Hindu: Import Indian bridegrooms for Russian brides. To shift the population curve upwards. No, not kidding.

It is the new Russian magic mantra to reverse the alarming fall in the country’s birth rate. Pretty bold, huh? Says Maria Arbatova, writer and TV moderator, who married an Indian businessman a few years ago “after 25 years of keeping marrying Russians”, thinks Indian men make ideal husbands. “They are crazy about their family and children,” she said presenting her new book, 'Tasting India’ in Moscow. “What is more, Indians, like Russians, are Indo-Europeans, and many Sanskrit and Russian words have the same roots.”

Russia has a population of 142 million spread across a territory five times the size of India. Its population is shrinking at one-third of a million a year. The government is trying lucrative methods to actually get couples to give birth to more babies - certificates worth $10,000 to second or subsequent children, monthly support payments etc. However, afraid that the Government measures are not enough, the Governor of Ulyanovsk suggested his own way. September 12th has been chosen as the new holiday, when Ulyanovsk residents will enjoy an extra day off work that the Governor decreed to give them more time to produce babies.

The holiday, officially called “Family Contact Day”, was quickly renamed by locals as “Day of Conception”. That day the people will be invited to join a festival, “I Love You”, while teams of gynaecologists, midwives and psychologists will fan out to all parts of the region to advise women on having babies.

Why September 12? So that babies conceived that day may be born on June 12, Russia’s National Day. Couples who hit the target date win prizes, including refrigerators, TV sets and washing machines. The main prize is an Ulyanovsk-built all-terrain vehicle called Patriot.

Taken without permission from The Hindu: Import Indian bridegrooms for Russian brides.
Also, my apartment mate has already taken Maria Sharapova.

Que sera sera

Seen on a friend's GTalk status message -
"A windfall of millions for a team that won a farcical cricket tournament… and pittance for the heros of the Nehru cup for football and the Asia cup for hockey! No wonder our country will never see beyond cricket!"

People photography

Catching people's faces on film when they are doing anything but looking at the camera - this is one of my favorite forms of photography. And among people, I love taking photographs of strangers. Not people I know.
In the bus. The restaurant, talking animatedly to the one opposite them. The laugh at the end of a joke. Lost in thoughts. Browsing through clothes. Books. Smiling to oneself. Leaning on something. Holding hands. Swinging legs. Playing with their hair. Smiling at a text message.
And the liberal use of zoom.
But taking the photograph is not the toughest part. It's the fact that you need the permission of the person before capturing the shot (or they can sue you or get you arrested for breach of privacy). Catching them at an exhibition or carnival or any public place is the easiest, because photographers are expected there. But other places it's difficult. Also because of the fact that it's a stranger tall guy who has taken a 'liking' to their kid and wants to take a picture. Ow. Or if it's a girl whose picture I want to take. That's the toughest - I break into a sweat and my tongue goes vaguely involuntary.

I had asked a friend - "How do you manage to take photographs of people you don't know?"
"Well, you smile at them, and just hold up the camera. They smile back and continue what they were doing."

Well, may be you have a cute smile. I don't. :) Cause when I smile, for most of them, it's "Uh oh, strange brown man is taking my photograph."
Or "Uh oh, strange brown man has weird smile. Oh dear God he has a camera!!!"

Here is an embed of shots I had taken when people didn't know about it. Please don't sue me, I am just a photography hobbyist.

Damage control - by Miss Teen South Carolina

So Lauren Caitlin's train of thought was yet to board the station when she was asked that famous question about *US Americans* and maps. (Aside, that was a dumb question to ask on a beauty pageant. Aside aside, beauty pageants have lost perspective. Aside aside aside, this post is not about beauty pageants.).
But what I really liked about her was the fact that she appeared on national television, on the Today Show and gave a nice explanation about the *pageant incident*, the repercussions of which made it last week's most-watched-video-on-YouTube.
Was it effective damage control? I don't know about that. But I really admire her comeback. And the self esteem and confidence that came along with it.

My story published! :)

I had written this story a couple of years back, and it got published in Chowk today! My roommate introduced me to this, and his story got published last month.

We are family

‘Yes, I shall go and arrange for the papers in my office.’ The doctor retreated with the nurse from the room. There was a huge gush of hospital noise when the door opened and the pneumatic door closer slowly put the door back to its original position.

A child was crying somewhere. An injection, perhaps.
Trays with surgical instruments were being handled. Metal on metal.
Someone was calling for the janitor. Clear intercom system.
Lots of footsteps. Nurses with high heels.

The door closed and the room was once again filled with a low hum. If one strained the ear, the London November rain could be heard splattering on the stone benches in the lawn outside the room. Curtains were drawn, contributing more to the loud silence in the room. The periodic short and sharp beep of the instruments in the room made the silence even louder. It showed signs of life in the room.

Read complete story>>>

Haiku

Saw this haiku (What it is?) on a friend's T shirt today:

Haikus are so easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Hilarious! :))

Oops. Uh oh. Duh.

I don't think there can be any greater or more glorious slip of the tongue than saying "I make out thrice a week" instead of "I work out thrice a week".

And not realizing it for a while.

Ah, me.

Prosaic dreams

A collection of dreams I have had where I expected something to happen, but nothing did. Mundane. :(

I was studying for an exam two days away.

I took my clothes out of the hanger and put them back again.

I drove really fast, and reached sooner than I thought.

I was not falling, just standing and looking.

I got a phone call. We were going out to have lunch.

I was at work all day. I was not being chased.

One guy painted my house and went.

I saw a girl I liked. She was a friend's girlfriend.

I rented a car.

I got back home and saw my house was still there.

I was crossing the road.

One guy opened his store, I went in and bought a fishing rod.

The challenge to live

The two of my most favorite (and heartbreakingly touching) awareness ads for cancer make me feel strangely heavy. I really hope that the cure for cancer comes along soon. Real soon.

Peruvian Cancer Foundation - The magic of giving (1:29)



Ninos con Cancer - Gesto de Amor (0:50)

Both these ads made it big at the Cannes Film festival. Turn on your speakers, the accompanying music is superb.

Human rights

I was witness to this conversation some time back.

"I wish there was an IKEA in State College... the nearest IKEA is all the way in Pittsburgh. The furniture stores here are so expensive!"
"You could always try Wal-Mart... the furniture there is pretty good from what I have heard."
"Yeah... I know... but, considering where they came from, I guess it's China... with the low wages and all, there's no way I would want that in my house. I would rather own something made by someone who has been paid well for making it."

This conversation had me thinking about the attitude of people here in the United States. They respect everyone - no matter what the job is. Be it the postman or the clerk who does the paperwork, the bus driver or the janitor, the guy who fixes the drain or the woman who cleans the glass windows - they are respected, wished and smiled at with goodwill all the time. Hard to believe? You have to be here to feel it.

Giving respect also earns respect. Respect for the fellow being. India needs this.

I am moving!

I am currently working on moving to Wordpress.com - moving the posts, the embedded videos etc. Anyway, when the moving is complete, the new link will be up here.
I loved Blogger, but I find Wordpress more versatile in its widgets. No hard feelings, I hope, Blogger.

3 hours later...
UPDATED: On second* thought, I have decided NOT TO MOVE. (Talk of indecisiveness!) I still love Blogger. I hated the fact that one cannot change the template CSS styling in Wordpress without having an upgraded account (NOT free).
http://logophilia.wordpress.com barely got to see the light of the day. Thanks to the guy on the left.

*Second is quite an understatement.

Like, I didn't see it coming!

Ok, some awesome dude from Delhi searched in Google for "show me photo gallery of sexual intercourse" and got my blog as one of the results.

My blog!
MY BLOG!
He didn't visit it, but Google returned my blog as a result nevertheless.

(Source: My account in Google Analytics)

I am kind of glad that I didn't put Google AdWords in my website. God only knows what kind of ads I would have got listed here - thanks to Google's algorithm of putting text ads on the basis of relevant words. May be this?

Do you blog and are you LONELY?
Do you feel the NEED for someone? Or something?
CLICK HERE FOR INSTANT* RESULTS!


*The instants may vary.

Educationalists suffer from dementia

The CBSE syllabus in India has decided to mellow down the sex education in their syllabus. Wait a minute, did they have one to start off with? Or was I not paying attention in class when they were covering sex education?

While words like masturbation, arousal and sexual intercourse have been deleted from the revised version of the training manual for teachers, diagrams which describe the journey from puberty to young adulthood have been done away with. This modified version is set to reach schools in a few weeks.

Source: Times of India

This is what the "educationalists" have been saying in defense. My reaction to each of them was "What the...?"

[...] Don’t impose degenerate western culture on Indian schools [...]

[...] India has not given HIV/AIDS to the world. If the world had followed the Indian tradition of one wife or one husband, this disease would not have developed at all. [...]

[...] if the sex education was introduced in any form, episodes like Nithari village would repeat in every school and locality of the country. He said just withdrawing students from the schools where sex education is being introduced is not enough, we need to firmly ensure that it is not introduced at all in any school [...]

[...] It is claimed that the objective of imparting sex education is protecting the students from HIV/ AIDS, but the syllabus prepared for it is so much indecent, damaging and obscene that it will increase the disease on a much higher speed. We don’t want that abortion centres should be opened in schools like that in Britain, morning pills need to be given to teenage girls like that in France, increase in number of unmarried mothers like that in America and teachers sexually exploit their students like that in New Zealand [...]

Source: Organiser

Face the nation (hosted by Sagarika Ghose, CNN-IBN) has the script of the debate between, as I put it, realists and educationalists.

To put it mildly, I am outraged. Are these "educationalists" idiots or are they idiots? More importantly, in their childhood, did they look down at themselves and figure out there was a "branch" growing out of them that stiffened on its own accord?

UPDATE: Sree narrates an incident in her life that took place recently. Death of someone because of AIDS - her husband was infected. May be it could have been avoided if people knew more about HIV/AIDS than they do now. How unfortunate.

Handi(CAP)able

YouTube Video, 1:34 min

A post doc candidate from my lab showed me this advertisement - more like a public awareness ad about how inconsiderate we often are about the physically challenged people. Since I know no Portuguese whatsoever, I have tried my best to provide all the information regarding the relevance of this advertisement.
The car you see here has been parked right on the sidewalk providing a huge obstacle for anyone on a wheelchair/crutch etc. It has been (implicitly) extrapolated to buildings and other places which have little or no regard for handicap access.
This advertisement seems very relevant to Lisbon and Portugal in general, but we do know it is true for many places around the world, India included.
The repartee in the ad is what I like the best - (translated roughly; subject to correction)

"Thanks to all the obstacles, we will be in shape for Beijing 2008"

Special Olympics 2008, watch out for Portugal.

The ad agency behind this wonderfully multi-layered message is Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborn (BBDO), one of the best and most awarded advertising agencies in the world. (Source: Wikipedia)

I can see why.

This is another of their good advertisements (GreenPeace): Save the Amazon.

Mars and Venus

After reading (and laughing out loud) Men's rights by Ankur, a post about this article in Economist.com, I decided to fish out an old email I had received eons ago. Thanks to gmail's search feature. :) So here goes...

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
-------------------------------------------
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
As**ole.

(Gary)
B***h

(Rebecca)
F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - wh**e.

(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.

Jishnu

Now he can walk! It's more like kicking and walking at the same time. He has started recognizing his house. On the way back after the short walk he takes in the evenings with his parents, he figures out that he is nearing home.
He turns around and walks in the other direction, hoping that his parents won't notice. He kicks and runs at the same time, hoping that his parents will let him play a little more.
He loves being outside. He loves to run behind chipmunks scurrying about. He loves to chase cats. Pigeons. Leaves that fly at the mercy of the wind.
He loves being in water. He will eat anything on the floor except the floor. He has the most hilarious change-my-diaper face. He is a cartoon. He loves playing peek-a-boo.
He is Jishnu. He is my year-old nephew.

Non sequitur

In the recent episode of Devil's Advocate, BJP president Rajnath Singh was interviewed by Karan Thapar on the support of Bhairon Singh Shekhawat for presidential candidacy. Boy, it was some interview. The politicians and their games have become so transparent, that it has now become an art of how ridiculously can you exhibit being in denial. Watch these interviews - they are simply ludicrous. Watch Thapar make mincemeat.

Karan Thapar: You are going by his political career, let me bring that to spotlight. And now the allegations touch his integrity…
Rajnath Singh: No one can question Mr Bhairon Singh Shekhawat’s integrity.
Karan Thapar: From 1952 to 1972 he was an MLA in Rajasthan, from 1977 to 2002 he was an MLA again and yet in between for three years he became a Rajya Sabha MP from Madhya Pradesh. Does it not prove that he would have filed a false and fraudulent declaration of residence in Madhya Pradesh?
He would have to—in those days without a declaration of residence he couldn’t have become an MP of the Rajya Sabha.
Rajnath Singh: Whatever I know about Bhairon Singh Shekhawat I believe that his character is spotless.

Karan Thapar: But it is being said about this individual that he took a bribe, that he lied about his residential status to become a Rajya Sabha MP; there are question marks about his use of office as Chief Minister.
Rajnath Singh: No one can even imagine that Bhairon Singh Shekhawat will ever take a bribe. These are all false allegations.

Karan Thapar: If Pratibha Patil becomes the President, and it looks like she will, despite your allegations then what kind of relationship would you have with her?
Rajnath Singh: This is a hypothetical question.
Karan Thapar: It could become a reality, then what sort of relationship you would have with her?
Rajnath Singh: We should wait for the election results.
Karan Thapar: Will you apologise to her?
Rajnath Singh: No, there is no question of doing that. The clarifications must come from Pratibha Patil, the Congress or UPA.

However, I am always amazed on how Karan Thapar manages to abruptly end these interviews in spite of all the questions that go unanswered.
The entire script of the interview is available here (courtesy IBN Live).

Video 1 from IBN Live (5 min)


Video 2 from IBN Live (5 min)


Video 3 from IBN Live (5 min)

4th of July

This was the first 4th of July for me in the United States and boy I loved it! State College may be a (really) small town but the fireworks are among the top 5 in the country. Hard to believe but true. And I would like to believe it. :) The show was synchronized with music playing on the radio at a particular channel and lasted about 45 minutes. The last couple of minutes were spellbinding with about 40 shells being fired per second. Yes! Per second. Thousands of people had thronged to several areas around the Beaver Stadium and had brought with themselves patio chairs, blankets, beer, snacks etc. It was beautiful.
In this video here, we had captured the last couple of minutes (1:25 min) which were the best. Ignore us in the background. :)

Google Video, 1:25 min

The stray and the astray

So the Mumbai municipality has decided to approach the SC for permission to KILL all stray dogs to stop the stray dog menace.
I wonder if it will extend the same thing to the millions of people who are homeless.

Related News:
From IBN Live
Google News search results

Bagels and manners

On the way to a hiking spot (a nice waterfall) a few weeks back, we had stopped at a local bagel store at Wellsboro, PA - a nice quiet town in Tioga county.
The bagels were excellent, so was the cream cheese. The part that amused me the most was this notice near the payment counter. I shot it from my cell phone, so it's not the best in terms of picture quality.

8 random facts

I was tagged by Amit for this seemingly harmless activity. It has taken a LOT of my time to do this! So here are the rules for this game:

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
4. If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach Third Series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes.

I am pretty much a goner when it comes to #4, cause I am doing this five days late! So I am not reaching Third Series and will not be attaining my most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes. Not very different from what it is now...!

So here they are - 8 random facts about me.

1. I love being busy. I am not a workaholic, and I love my weekends - but I must be doing something at all times.
2. When it comes to organization, my friends tell me that I have OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive *Delight*)
3. I am supremely accident prone. A classical case of trouble-magnetism. And I have a natural flair of making a complete fool of myself in the most impossible of situations.
4. I dig reading user manuals and safety manuals. That's the reason whenever my friends buy something new, I am given the user manual! As a gift. :D
5. I hate my glasses, but I love my wristwatch. I never take it off. Never.
6. I love watching movies of all possible genres. They could be foreign languages, limited edition movies, art movies, animation... but I choose what I want to watch.
7. I like meeting people. I don't care if my acquaintanceship lasts less than an hour - but if I end up having a nice rich conversation with this person, I feel great about it. But it's really difficult to find people of the same wavelength, and more so when they are strangers.
   
8. In my mind, I put things (people, activities etc.) in patterns. I don't use it for making judgments, but I just enjoy doing it.
   

Hmmm. So these are 8 random facts about me. And to continue the chain, I tag Abheet, WhoDunIt, Shreya, Saurabh, Dimple, Gaurav, Deepika and Shreyasee. Have fun!

Prangstgrüp

Columbia University. It's a quiet afternoon in a library, with everyone spending all their time and energy in the upcoming tests.
It was more than the occasional cough that tore through the silence in the Columbia University library that afternoon.
A voice sang out in Broadway style...
"What's this?
What's this on the page?"
I can hardly believe my eyes
Every page I turn is a new surprise
And I'm doin' it all because I'm reading on a dream!"

All students looked around awkwardly - not sure if to tell him to shut up or whether to laugh along. He went along to sing a whole song in these lines, with supporting members giving the music and a lady friend who danced a complete routine.

YouTube Video © Prangstgrüp (3:00 min)

All students are enraptured by what was going on. Then the "pranksters" left. Like the way they came. Prangstgrüp had struck again.

This is the boldest group of students who come up with these audacious campus pranks - be it a really long and loud computer startup tune in the library, or giving "accurate" lectures in the NYC subway (on optics, combinatorics etc. with assignments and all) to people caught totally unawares or even bursting out with a song in the middle of a lecture they are not even originally a part of (see video below)! Go ahead... spend a few minutes with these really amazing artists! They have 17 masterpieces so far - all of them hilarious, and really bold! (Somehow they always manage to videotape it very well.)
This is TEACH: A lecture musical.

YouTube Video © Prangstgrüp (3:07 min)

Anorexia

Came across this advertisement on Anorexia. It blew my mind!

Google Video (39 sec)
Anorexia Bulimia Contact | Mirror

Creative Director: Martin Stadhammar, Grey, Stockholm, Sweden
Client Service Director: Sigrun Yngvadottir, TCB, Stockholm, Sweden
Director: Oskar Bård, Hobbyfilm

Related post: Perception of beauty

Just around the riverbend - II

I'm female, Iraqi and 24. I survived the war. That's all you need to know. It's all that matters these days anyway.

In March last year, I had made an entry (Just around the riverbend) about Baghdad Burning, a blog by an anonymous Iraqi woman who goes by the name Riverbend. She has been posting entries in this blog since August 17th 2003 - her entries being true tales of a life governed by fear, hate, misery and distrust. The italicized text above was her very first entry in her blog.

Well, her blog was converted into two books: Baghdad Burning - Girl blog from Iraq and Baghdad Burning II - More Girl blog from Iraq. The first book went up for the $52,000 Samuel Johnson Literary prize, chronicling three years of war and destruction in Iraq, with no filtering whatsoever from the media. The publishers maintained her anonymity at her request.

Riverbend continued blogging, giving a painful and bitter description of the corruption running in politics and how the armed forces now getting involved in raping and killing the very citizens they are supposed to be protecting. The frequency of her blogging reduced greatly over the last year because it took a lot out of her to write about things she hated and could do nothing about. The recent-most raping allegation that happened in February was cleared in less than 14 hours and the accusing woman was thrown in a bad light. That was her entry in February. After a long period of silence, she wrote her last entry in April.

She's now leaving Iraq. Her home country.

So we've been busy. Busy trying to decide what part of our lives to leave behind. Which memories are dispensable? We, like many Iraqis, are not the classic refugees- the ones with only the clothes on their backs and no choice. We are choosing to leave because the other option is simply a continuation of what has been one long nightmare- stay and wait and try to survive.

Riverbend, April 26th 2007

Extract from Google Book Search:
In August 2003, the world gained access to a remarkable new voice: a blog written by a 25-year-old Iraqi woman living in Baghdad, whose identity remained concealed for her own protection. Calling herself Riverbend, she offered searing eyewitness accounts of the everyday realities on the ground, punctuated by astute analysis on the politics behind these events. In a voice in turn eloquent, angry, reflective and darkly comic, Riverbend recounts stories of life in an occupied city-of neighbors whose homes are raided by US troops, whose relatives disappear into prisons and whose children are kidnapped by money-hungry militias. At times, the tragic blends into the absurd, as she tells of her family jumping out of bed to wash clothes and send e-mails in the middle of the night when the electricity is briefly restored, or of their quest to bury an elderly aunt when the mosques are all overbooked for wakes and the cemeteries are all full. The only Iraqi blogger writing from a woman's perspective, she also describes a once-secular city where women are now afraid to leave their homes without head covering and a male escort. Interspersed with these vivid snapshots from daily life are Riverbend's analyses of everything from the elusive workings of the Iraqi Governing Council to the torture in Abu Ghraib, from the coverage provided by American media and by Al-Jazeera to Bush's State of the Union speech. Here again, she focuses especially on the fate of women, whose rights and freedoms have fallen victim to rising fundamentalisms in a chaotic postwar society. With thousands of loyal readers worldwide, the Riverbend blog is widely recognized around the world as a crucial source of information not available through the mainstream media.

To-WAR-ds nowhere

While reading about the current crisis of Hamas vs. Abbas over Gaza, I saw this photograph in Reuters.

© REUTERS/Ibraheem Abu Mustafa (GAZA)

A Hamas fighter takes position inside a scanning machine in the customs hall of the Rafah crossing border, between Egypt and the southern Gaza Strip, after they captured it, June 15, 2007.
I wonder if the scanner ever went off because there was a gun inside it!

Then I recollected this strip I had read in Calvin & Hobbes a few years back.

© Bill Watterson, United Press Syndicate

Romeo and Juliet, 4000 BC

I started out on Google at 3:00 pm today for some information on emulsions, and at 3:20 pm I was looking at this. I felt vaguely strange.

Picture courtesy: CNET News.com

Archaeologists have unearthed two skeletons from the Neolithic period (5000-6000 years ago) locked in an "eternal embrace" and buried outside Mantua, Italy, about 25 miles south of Verona. Sounds familiar? It's the same city where Shakespeare set the tale of Romeo and Juliet. Here's the bigger catch - In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo is sent to Mantua for killing Capulet in a sword fight. Romeo then leaves the city and returns to Verona when he hears that Juliet has died.

It was found at the site where a factory is planned and many have speculated on the circumstances this goosebumps-giving spectacle. Flint tools, including arrowheads and a knife, were also found alongside the couple. Their teeth being intact, it is thought that the couple died young.

They are face to face and their arms and legs are entwined and they are really hugging.

When I was reading through the user comments on the related news pieces, almost everybody had the same thing to say - of not to disturb them from their grave. Unfortunately, it has already been done.

Doomed love?

Other sources of information:
BBC News
Dailymail.co.uk
CNET News.com

Whatsisname

Americans pronounce Indian names better than Indians do. Or at least they do it more accurately. Yes, it's true! I am not kidding!

The most ludicrous habit of many government officials in India is look at the first alphabet of your name, and then at the last, and fill up the rest themselves. Some of them even decide to correct the way it is spelled and then put in on record.
I have ended up being named (on official records) as Kokanad (most common error), Kokanand, Kokenad, Kokonath, Kokanath. Without the blink of one or more eyes.
On one hilarious occasion, my brother Sayontan was called Shaitan.
Prayatn became Prashant. Anushaily became Anshuly (Anshulee).

Correcting the mistake on an official record in India would be a big headache, but if I write about that it should be classified under the label *Sigh* in my blog. So I am not going into that now.

Americans do have a tough time understanding the complicated concoction of syllables in Indian names, but atleast end up reading it thoroughly and even pronouncing it right! And the icing of the cake lies in the fact that each and everyone asks if they pronounced it right. Your face invariably breaks into a smile. A lab mate once approached me with the name "Ramachandran" and asked if "Remakandran" (accented) is the right way to pronounce it, because she didn't want to embarrass herself.

My friends and I had been witness to this incident...
A good friend of ours, ABCXYZ Singh, has had a crisis since she landed in the US, because she decided to dump her last name. Now here's the catch - in the US, it's extremely difficult to survive without a last name because every official record is on the basis of a last name. So they found a workaround and made her first name ABCXYZ as her last name and attributed "Unknown" as her first name. So her name, officially is, Unknown ABCXYZ. While we were getting issued our State ID cards, our first names were being called out. When it was her turn, there was a voice from a sweet old lady -
"Un-known"?
While we all giggled away, our friend walks up to the counter. The old lady is visibly embarrassed because she is sure that is not the right way to pronounce "Unknown".
"Oh honey, did I get your name right?"

Just a note: For many who ask me this question, the meaning of Kokonad is "red lotus" in Sanskrit.

Energy saving

After having been to Boston, New York, Las Vegas etc. and gasped at the beautiful night views of each of these cities, I have often thought aloud - US has a lot of energy. And a lot of this energy goes just into aesthetics and ambience. That's a lot of waste in India, where we always switch off the light and fan when leaving a room.
I was just wondering, how many villages in India could be lit up 24/7 if all the advertisements on Times Square were pulled off the circuit. Or may be Las Vegas?

Talking of energy savings, visit Blackle. Blackle is a *suggestion* which is based on a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year (January 2007) where a theory was proposed that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. So this guy, Mark Ontkush (Occupation: Green Computing Evangelist), did the math and figured out this (from his blog post) -

Take at look at Google, who gets about 200 million queries a day. Let's assume each query is displayed for about 10 seconds; that means Google is running for about 550,000 hours every day on some desktop. Assuming that users run Google in full screen mode, the shift to a black background will save a total of 15 (74-59) watts. That turns into a global savings of 8.3 Megawatt-hours per day, or about 3000 Megawatt-hours a year. Now take into account that about 25 percent of the monitors in the world are CRTs, and at 10 cents a kilowatt-hour, that's $75,000, a goodly amount of energy and dollars for changing a few color codes.

I liked it. Of course, there has been skepticism the world wide about whether the contribution of the energy savings is significant. And, as you might have noticed, the readability of black web pages isn't the best.

Still, as the About Page puts it, "We believe that there is value in the concept because even if the energy savings are small, they all add up."

Go ahead, search something on Blackle.