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Uhmmm

Two people leave the hall from different exits. One of them is hurrying.
A man fogs his glasses and then cleans them.
An old man sneezes, and is dazed, face all red. Probably a cold.
An uninterested person picks his nose.
His companion is overdressed and she has realized that.
A 40 something woman there checks in the mirror if her kohl lines are still lines and not smudges.
A 40 something man is solving sudoku.
Another has taken a position that could be that of paying attention or of dozing.
A kid uses his nails to peel off paint from the arm of his chair.
Three people texting on their cell phones, their expressions lit by the display. One of them is smiling.
A well dressed man is there in the front, but not quite present. I wonder what he is thinking.
Is she there in the crowd, looking at me? Yes, then, no. I hope she is impressed by all this. At least a tiny bit.
What do I do after this? May be I can get myself a nice cup of coffee. And plan out next month's vacation. Again. It makes the vacation seem closer.
The light is on my face. As I look into it, the people fade away and so do the thoughts. Actually the thoughts still stay. May be I will think about them later.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Today I stand before you to talk about..."

Losing perspective

Why on earth is this NEWS?
How necessary. President bumps his head. So had Bush, apparently, towards the start of his presidency.
Turns out there is a video too.

Possible headlines that are repercussions of this event:

1. President Obama bumps his head, sends America to war again
2. President Obama bumps his head, helicopter dented
3. President Obama bumps his head, needs to comb hair all over again
4. President Obama bumps his head, secret service arrests helicopter
5. President Obama bumps his head, president bumps head not
6. President Obama bumps his head, so did Bush; similar presidencies forecasted

How is this relevant to anything at all? I know he is living the life of a goldfish in a fishbowl, completely in the eyes of the country. But bumping his head? Come on! It could be a part of The Daily Show or Late Night or even Saturday Night Live - but not CNN main news! Next we would know about when his dog poops and whether the secret service cleans up after the first dog.

It's not even a slow news day, thanks to the bailout and stimulus plans being on everyone's minds...

Weird name. No donut for you.

Ok people, what's with giving yourselves obnoxious names in Orkut? First they are philosophical. Then they are written in convoluted text that makes no sense till you squint. Did you realize that naming yourselves this way makes you "Unsearchable"? How do you expect us to type "♥" (hearts) or a box or a dinosaur or whatever and find you in the search feature? Or if I want to find you in my email contacts list? More importantly, how do we even know that's how you have listed yourself in Orkut! How do I know you have replaced V with \/, or S with $ or O with zero?
Some of them are so ridiculous it takes me a while to figure out whether it's a bug on Orkut or my eyes have gone bad. Some of the awesome examples I have come across (in MY own friends list). If yours is one of them, it's probably time to CHANGE IT. Because it is very very... how do I put it... /\nN0Y1N9!

KacchhhiinnnGGGG
Why so
||Bored of orkut
Life sucks
Wooohooo
New pics
Enjoying in paris
Running the rat race
Fighting fate, c who wins
|ÞH| -= WHÉRÊ ÞURÊ HÂTRÉÐ ÞRËVÃÍL§ *
G0iN b@ck 2 tH0$e l@Zy DaYsS *
ßĦдЯǺથ...Enfield *
$leepin9 b34uty *
c00L dud3

*More annoying than usual. #%$^#%@!!

PS: I like how Facebook deals with this. There is no way you can name yourself "Life is like a crumpled piece of paper: Used, then thrown... ALBUM UPDATED"

Cough! Eeee!

No matter how hard I tried, I could never make American coffee to taste like Indian coffee. More specifically, Madras filter coffee. Having stayed in Chennai for a while and having an aunt who makes phenomenal filter coffee, it was just natural that I had to be a fan.
When I had first come to the US, I was fairly excited about tasting their coffee, thanks to having heard so many tales of romance, dates, make-ups, break-ups, start-ups, lawsuits, conversations all over happening over a cup of coffee. For all this happening, there had to be something special about American coffee.

Well, there wasn't. I was disappointed. For one thing, it was water-based. Ugh. Milk, or "cream" as they call it, was solely added for the purpose of flavoring. I was complaining to an American friend -

"It's like they forcibly made hot water pass through coffee beans."
"Dude, that IS how they brew coffee!"
"Why would they want to punish at least one of the two? They could use milk!"
"Ha ha! Who uses milk in their coffee?"

Silence.
Crickets chirping too.

In search of a remedy, I surprised several people at cafes when all I did was take lots and lots of cream and added a decent amount of sugar, effectively making people wait in line behind me. It refused to work. It still tasted like the coffee maker was planning sweet sweet bitter bitter revenge. Or like God's way of telling me that I will be caffeine deprived for the rest of my life. While I am in the US, i.e.
(In a big booming voice, like how Gods typically speak from behind the clouds) You shall never feel the blissful ethereal blend of fatigue and alertness at the same time! While you are in the US, i.e.

Not that I would pass out of tiredness if I didn't have my regular dose of coffee. But for days when sleep was less and alertness was crucial at 8:00 AM (or 10:00 AM, same thing) in the morning, coffee was a necessity.

Eventually I gave up. Now I just drink black coffee. No milk, no sugar, no bliss. It's like a bittersweet symphony, except for the sweet and the symphony.

And I am sure I wake up because of how bitter it is. It has nothing to do with caffeine.

Google Earth 5.0

If it were Sarah Palin, she would say "Gosh darn it Google, hold your horses!"

So Google is out with Google Earth 5.0. What's new? Diving under the ocean, historic imagery, and recording tours.

Dive under the ocean? Yes, dive under the ocean.

What's historic imagery? Well, you can surf a landscape and click the tiny clock that appears on the toolbar, and can see how that landscape has changed with time.

Wow. Here's the video from Google.

The elusive hyperlink

There is one thing I have noticed about official Indian websites - they do not do justice to the intellect of our nation. India is one of the nations that generates creative minds a dime a dozen - and more so in the IT industry - but it is unfortunate that Indian government websites are so poorly constructed almost everyone swears at least once while trying to locate information. They want it to be user friendly, but the user is barely friendly at the end of it all.

Websites with good navigation live by the rule that people should never be more than a click or two away from finding what they need, no matter what page they are in. Several US and EU based government websites literally serve information on a platter. They follow the norms of good web-navigation, they are advertisement free, they come with no fancy flash graphics or irritating GIF animations - something Indian websites need to learn from. To quote one instance a year back - a German friend told me that he had a tough time figuring out requirements to obtain an Indian tourist visa from the website. I was mighty embarrassed by the situation.
Let me make a disclaimer here - that most of the Indian official websites have indeed improved over time - one major example is the IRCTC - it used to be full of unused space - and all the wrong fonts were large in size with weird colors that would make you think the last cigarette you smoked had marijuana in it. It has become way better now. Our computerized railway reservation system maintains (and has been maintaining) one of the largest rail networks in the entire world, flawlessly! It's a pity that this brilliant software was, for a long period, accompanied by a website plagued by flash ads and mind numbingly disturbing animated GIFs. Here is a screenshot taken once upon a time and circulated in an "It happens only in India" theme.
During a discussion with a friend, he pointed out that in most cases, the web-designing jobs are outsourced to bhanjas, bhatijas or distant relatives - who may not be qualified enough for the job - but this is difficult to beat in a country where nepotism is predominant within the government.

I would like to say that for a country that can make such a beautiful tourism ad (Incredible India), the websites should be of top notch quality too!