Santa asked not to Ho Ho Ho

Calling someone a 'Ho' and Santa Claus' classic "Ho Ho Ho" have been put on the same footing. Ouch.

According to this news article in FoxNews.com, Australian Santas have been told to change the "Ho Ho Ho" to a "Ha Ha Ha" because "Ho" is slang in US for prostitute. And it could be frightening to children too.

WHAT?!

Yes, it is true, and therefore, the new Santas are being trained for using "Ha Ha Ha" - some have quit. I wonder why. Santas are now rebelling against this ban because they all feel (quite strongly) that kids wouldn't understand what 'Ho is! Moreover, it's destroying something traditional, something which we all have heard all our lives.

In my opinion, if a kid is aware what a 'Ho is, he is too old to sit on Santa's lap.

Santa Claus image taken from www.clipartguide.com

The Coke side of life

Many people, no, MOST people write my nickname as Coke, instead of Koke, because they are phonetically the same. And when it comes to my actual name, it has been subject to quite a bit of comical massacre (read Mostly Pointless: Whatsisname).

Anyway, on quite a seemingly irrelevant topic, I love this Coca Cola advertisement screened often in the cinema theaters here. It is based on the very popular game Grand Theft Auto about how the rough and hard central character of the game is behaving "nice". :-) The soundtrack appealed to me the most and it is taken from the movie Bugsy Malone starring Scott Baio and Jodie Foster.

YouTube Video (0:58 min)

Seminar Appeal

As a grad student myself, who attends several seminars I relate to this greatly.

Additional factors:
Do they shut off the auditorium lights?
Are the seats comfy?
Is my adviser going too?

Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

Crossing the road in India has over the years developed into a talent that exhibits a commendable amount of agility, tact, tolerance, diplomacy, unagi, love, presence of mind and also the ability to count the wheels of an oncoming vehicle. Yeah, because more the wheels of the vehicle, the harder it's gonna come and hit you. That's why standing in front of a moving train is often frowned upon.

It has been a little over a year since I have been in the US, and I have am greatly used to the driving rules and system followed here. Driving within lanes, keeping distance between vehicles, NOT crossing any solid lines whatsoever, stopping at stop signs etc. The most important one - YIELDING TO PEDESTRIANS! Yes. The oncoming traffic will stop for you to cross the road and the driver is going to wave at you wishing you a good morning/evening/weekend/Christmas. And you wave back with a smile.

I came from a country where pedestrians are treated like maggots - the drivers don't want them on the roads, so they might as well knock them down (and run away, as many have). It took me and my friends quite a while to get accustomed to the US system of road regulations. No matter how big the vehicle, it's going to stop. for you to cross the road. Trust me. Unless it's a train. Or an aeroplane. Or if you are being really adventurous and are attempting to cross the freeway or the interstate.

I think the rule is - Lesser the number of wheels, more the respect you've got on the road. Bicycles are next to pedestrians. But then unicycles are above pedestrians. Because even pedestrians stop to look at or look out for unicyclists. Unicyclists are funny.

After obtaining a license for driving in the US, my American colleagues often asked me if I had trouble getting used to driving on the right side from the left side of the car. To which my reply had always been "Naah, that was never a problem. In India they drive on both the sides of the road". Another day, I searched for Indian driving on YouTube and showed it to my American research colleague and the few minutes of screening were punctuated heavily by
"Oh dear God"
"What the..."
"Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod..."
"Aren't they scared?!"
"He's gonna die! He's gonna be roadkill!"

Anyway, now I think I have got too used to the US driving, which according to some people, is boring, because nothing happens. It's made me soft. Now I am going to India for a couple of weeks to a city with one of the most understanding, accommodating and affectionate traffic personalities ever - Kolkata.

Photograph courtesy: http://www.chickenssuit.com
Check this out!: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Movie Review: Beowulf

Spoiler alert: This movie will spoil your evening.

Angelina Jolie was the best part in the movie. But it had nothing to do with the movie.

This movie with 3D digital actors is about kings and heroes falling to the temptations of demon temptress based on the mythical plot of Beowulf. About monsters and dragons set upon those who do not keep their promises. About the wrath of a woman scorned. But apparently the plot did follow the actual story as Gaurav writes (read Beowulf: What the hell!!!!) .

Oh and yeah, no prizes for guessing that Angelina Jolie played the temptress. Anthony Hopkins plays King too, but his robe kept falling off. And all he kept announcing was "let's drink and be merry". He said something about a curse also...

The movie was hilarious too. Rolling on the floor laughing funny. But that was not the director's intention. For a greater amount of time, the hero was in the nude. Yes, there was nudity. Was there male frontal nudity? Yes. But his... er... *masculinity* on several occasionally was hidden by someone else's arm, helmet, sword, pole, smoke, fire, specter, dragon, a gold trumpet etc. For example, when Beowulf was being seduced by the temptress, his (raging) masculinity was masked by a long sword. (P)Unintended humor?

This movie was a giggle fest. The plus side? The animation was brilliant. And all the unintended humor.

YouTube Movie (1:52 min)

Rating: 5/10
Recommended? Only if you have nothing better to do. Or if you want to point and laugh at a movie probably intended to be serious.

Other movies reviewed in this blog

Cirque du Soleil

Thanks to my research colleague, I got to go to a show by Cirque du soleil. And boy oh boy, I DID NOT REGRET IT. They had come to my university for a show named: Saltimbanco.

Cirque du Soleil (French for "Circus of the Sun") is an entertainment empire based in Montreal, Quebec, Canada and founded in Baie-Saint-Paul in 1984 by two former street performers, Guy Laliberté and Daniel Gauthier. Acclaimed by more than 30 million people worldwide, Cirque du Soleil has reinvented and revolutionized the circus arts.

http://www.thinkwelldesign.com/

Stunning human acrobatics. No ring and no animals helped make Cirque du Soleil what it is today. Each show is a synthesis of circus styles from around the world and has its own central theme, soundtrack and storyline which enthralls the audience into the performance by having no curtains, no pauses whatsoever, continuous live music and performers seamlessly from one scene to another. The stages are majestic, huge and their show is not limited to the stage in front of the spectators. It is spectacular, and sprawls from above the audience to water pools. The Cirque du soleil have shows all over the US, and if you ever have a chance to go for one, definitely go for it. It's like 3 hours of perpetual goosebumps. Ooohs, aaahs and acrobats flying out and in so smoothly - like clockwork. The best (and outright scary) part is that they do not use safety nets... and if one person falters even by an inch, the whole stage collapses... it's amazing how they manage it.

YouTube video: From their website (3:25 min)


YouTube video: Promo for Cirque du soleil (0:50 min)

Makes me wanna go to a Riverdance show too.

Which should be sometime in the coming Spring hopefully.

Movie Review: Martian Child

The story of a man becoming a father... and a boy becoming a son.

John Cusack plays a yet another amazing role in this 108 min movie, as a writer (David Gordon) adopting and adapting to a child, Dennis, with reclusive social tendencies. Played by Bobby Coleman, Dennis believes that he is from Mars sent on a mission to earth. Though difficult to communicate with, he is smart and a fast learner and happens to have a sense of humor.
However, due to unsociable characteristics of Dennis, the CPS (Child Protection Services) is skeptical of David's capabilities of fathering this child, and wants to have the child transfered to a "special needs" school. The movie sails through several elements of parenting and accepting the eccentric. It helps the audience empathize with the constant expectation to be "normal" in the society.

YouTube Video (2:30)

The character of David Gordon is based on the real life David Gerrold, author of "The Martian Child". The movie is based on the same book, and as a plot treat, involves the character of David Gordon penning the first draft of the very same. The movie has its funny moments for the greater time and is craftily written. Even if you don't make it to the theater, I would recommend renting it when the DVDs are out.

Movie rating: 8/10

Recommended (similar) movies:
I am Sam, K-PAX

Other movies (p)reviewed in this blog

Lovestruck

Patrick Moberg (not insane) was so smitten by a girl he saw on the NY subway, that he made NYGirlOfMyDreams.com with this image on it. On the bottom left, he provided his email and phone number (now struck out) - and the general intention was to spread it online till she gets to see it.
That was on the 4th of November. Today, the 8th of November, his website had this image to add. "A friend of hers came across te site, recognized the description, and sent me an email. We've been put in touch with one another and we'll see what happens!"

Wee bit romantic, I say. :) People all over the world were rooting in for this to happen. For the cynics, it might seem fake. There are several comments to substantiate how trash it is.

Anyway, it reminded me of Daniel Powter's Bad day.

YouTube Video (3:41 min)

Movie Review: The Darjeeling Limited

"I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy."

Adrien Brody on India, as Peter Whitman in The Darjeeling Limited

Three brothers meet up a year after the demise of their father to make a journey that starts aboard a train named The Darjeeling Limited. The movie starts off looking like it's going to be a spiritual journey - but it's something else. It's not about emotions running high. Not about the typical epiphanies shown where brothers realize at the end of the movie that they are meant to be with each other.
This movie is of humor and wit. Of brotherhood and friendship. Of life, love and responsibilities. Made with style, fantastic cinematography and finesse. How seemingly meaningless events in ones life changes perspectives or strengthens them.

And a whole lot of India.

The use of humor is both a mix of fortunate accidents and witty lines. The movie is splashed with a lot of Hindi, so much that it feels like Wes Anderson targeted an Indian audience for this movie. My favorite scene in the movie is when the train they are going in stops for a long time in the middle of nowhere.

Francis: What's going on?
Brendan: I don't know, I guess the train's lost.
Jack: What did he say?
Peter: He said the train is lost
Jack: How can a train be lost? It's on rails.

Movie Trailer: The Darjeeling Limited (2:22 min)

The movie scenes are witty, and camera sequences are brilliant in terms of creativity and execution. While most of my friends said that there was no plot really and see that as a bad point in the film - I differ slightly on that aspect. While I agree that the film is slightly episodic in nature, with no moral to take home, the direction and treatment of various aspects of strained human emotions are tastefully done. On a sublime level, it deals with life, living life and death as well in a way that makes you be a part of the movie in the very same steps as the characters.

Natalie Portman, Bill Murray, Irrfan Khan and several others make cameo appearances. Bill Murray does not even talk in the movie! Some rural concepts and behavioral patterns in India have been beautifully portrayed. But what was not clear from the movie was which era of post-independence it was set in. While the iPod was shown to exist, India seemed to be in the 60s-70s in terms of technological and railways development. Though on a bus used in the movie, the symbol of "50 years of Independence" was painted (could have been a goof). The movie is shown to be shot in Jodhpur and nearby places, apart from Darjeeling. Several pristine locations in India have been used for shooting several scenes - the temples, the deserts and the tiny cities. The trains (The Darjeeling Limited, The Bengal Lancer) give the impression of today's Palace on Wheels. Used primarily by tourists and foreigners, the "stewards and stewardesses" applied kukkum to the passengers and offered lemon juice to them when they boarded. Like I said, great attention has been paid to the tiniest of details. There was a mix of local Indians who knew English and who didn't. The plot also accounted for emotions being lost between the characters because of the language barrier. A lot of the Hindi splashed in had humor, which were not shown in subtitles - which is OK for the Indian public - but the Americans would have benefited from subtitles. There were several occasions when the Indians in the cinema hall burst out laughing because the humor was in the local dialect, but the Americans didn't quite get it :-).

The soundtrack is excellent, with music borrowed from some of Satyajit Ray's movies (eg. Apur Sansar and Charulata) and several classical Indian composers. Among the other songs borrowed, The Kinks' (Strangers and This Time Tomorrow [in trailer]) and Peter Sarstedt's (Where do you go to my lovely) songs were the best.

On a whole, a wonderful treat from Wes Anderson, makes you think of his earlier movie - The Royal Tenenbaums.

The Darjeeling Limited: A must watch for appreciators of good cinema.
Rating: 9.5/10

Movie Preview: The Kite Runner (2007)

I had read Khaled Hosseini's best seller - The Kite Runner a couple of weeks back. What struck me most about the book was the author's style. It was not about the flair of fine literature. The sentences were simple, and they hit you hard. It was raw prose - that depicted every emotion in a crude way at face value. About the turmoil when one lives through with a horrible truth of cowardice all his life. About the frustration of trying to live up to another's expectations. About love. Lies. Destruction of one's land of birth. War. Humans treating other humans as animals.

About betrayal. About redemption.

From the director of Finding Neverland and Monster's Ball, comes this movie releasing next month. Looking forward to watching it.

Preview: The Kite Runner (1:54 min)

Kokipedia

KOKIPEDIA finally launched!!
by Gaurav Bhardwaj

STATE COLLEGE, PA. The much awaited “Kokipedia” was finally launched in early hours of morning today at a function organized at this knowledge capital of Central Pennsylvania. The new ‘know it all interactive knowledgebase’ derives its name from Latin word ‘Kokos’ meaning Kokonad Sinha and ‘Pedious’ meaning knowledge. The crowd went berserk when the name of knowledgebase was released. People think it could not have come at a much better time.

The crowd was upbeat and believes that it may be answer to all the confusion in the world due to Wikipedia and all and this knew knowledgebase may hold answers to all the people’s problems. It’s just a matter of meeting or calling Koke now. As D said, “Koke knows it all” and frankly this has been the general perception for a decade or so now. When questioned about his huge knowledgebase, Kokonad Sinha modestly said, “It's all due to instruction manuals!!” Koke’s affection towards instruction manuals is a well known fact. He holds the record for reading most number of instruction manuals in a year. Another related record that Koke holds is for assembling maximum number of furniture items in a year. Earlier this year, Koke also raised the issue of making the instruction manuals of APOLLO 11 public. The issue generated lot of public attention and had caused quite a storm in senate.

“There was no need for a Beta version, we all agree about the soundness of our knowledgebase” replied the Kokipedia Team when asked about the need of releasing a beta version first.

None of us can actually fathom the depths of this knowledgebase as of now but one thing is sure that this day will be remembered as the day when attrition of Wikipedia started.

Disclaimer and fine print (MUST READ): The editor of this blog (Kokonad Sinha) has nothing, NOTHING to do with this post. Also, he has nothing to do with the picture of himself used in that obscure rubik's cube. It was solely the idea of everyone but himself. Gaurav Bhardwaj, the author of The Antisense Strand, is going to attend to all comments on this post.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

This is what PhD does to people!

Frankly ridiculous science

Honoring achievements that first make people LAUGH, and then make them THINK. That's the tag line associated with the Ig Nobel Prizes. A welcome change from the daily grind in the lab - an intention to make us recognize and identify with incredibly relevant and important issues in our lives.

Sometimes they are mildly amusing.

Like the fact that the presence of humans tend to sexually arouse ostriches. Or the fact that you can have safe sex at zero kelvin. Did you know there is a concrete relationship between country music and suicide? There is a study on the nature of injuries caused by falling coconuts. Effects of ultrasound in cheddar cheese. Why the woodpecker gets no headaches. Does a swimmer move quicker in water or syrup? Invention of an aerosol for underwear that may help determine if a husband was faithful or not. Use of quantum physics for achievement personal happiness. Farting loud as a means of protection from excessive fear.

Some winners in 2007
Source: http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html#ig2007
A penetrating medical report on sword swallowing and its side effects.
Invention of a method to extract vanilla fragrance from cow dung.
A study that shows that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards.
A spellbinding manuscript exploring the seemingly boundless appetites of human beings, by feeding them with a self-refilling, bottomless bowl of soup.
My favorite this year - The US Air force won the Ig Nobel Prize for PEACE for instigating research & development on a chemical weapon - the "gay bomb" - that will make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other and want to make love, not war.

Ceremony trivia:
The Ig Nobel Prizes are a parody of the Nobel Prizes and are given each year in early October — a week before the genuine Nobel Prizes are announced. Organized by the scientific humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), they are presented by a group that includes genuine Nobel Laureates at a ceremony at Harvard University's Sanders Theater. Nominees can come in any attire they like. A speech is made on receiving the award, but not longer than a minute. When the lime limit is broken a girl named Miss Sweetie Poo appears on the scene to say ‘Please, stop! I am bored’ in a high-pitched voice. The closing line of the ceremony is always "If you didn't win a prize — and especially if you did — better luck next year!" The first Ig Nobels were awarded in 1991, at that time for discoveries "that cannot, or should not, be reproduced." More of the same at The Journal of Irreproducible Results.

End note:
Gaurav has chosen his research topic so he has a chance to win the Nobel Prize in every field except Peace and Literature.
Other mock awards:
Golden Raspberry Awards for bad film work
Darwin Awards for fatally foolish behavior
Pigasus Award for paranormal fraud (U.S.)
Bent Spoon Award for paranormal fraud (Australia)
Stella Awards for "outrageous" lawsuits

______________________________________

Sources:
http://www.improbable.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize
http://newsfromrussia.com/science/tech/15-10-2007/98832-ig_nobel_prize-0

You there, Indian male! Marry me.

A month back, this hilarious piece Vladimir Radyuhin appeared in The Hindu: Import Indian bridegrooms for Russian brides. To shift the population curve upwards. No, not kidding.

It is the new Russian magic mantra to reverse the alarming fall in the country’s birth rate. Pretty bold, huh? Says Maria Arbatova, writer and TV moderator, who married an Indian businessman a few years ago “after 25 years of keeping marrying Russians”, thinks Indian men make ideal husbands. “They are crazy about their family and children,” she said presenting her new book, 'Tasting India’ in Moscow. “What is more, Indians, like Russians, are Indo-Europeans, and many Sanskrit and Russian words have the same roots.”

Russia has a population of 142 million spread across a territory five times the size of India. Its population is shrinking at one-third of a million a year. The government is trying lucrative methods to actually get couples to give birth to more babies - certificates worth $10,000 to second or subsequent children, monthly support payments etc. However, afraid that the Government measures are not enough, the Governor of Ulyanovsk suggested his own way. September 12th has been chosen as the new holiday, when Ulyanovsk residents will enjoy an extra day off work that the Governor decreed to give them more time to produce babies.

The holiday, officially called “Family Contact Day”, was quickly renamed by locals as “Day of Conception”. That day the people will be invited to join a festival, “I Love You”, while teams of gynaecologists, midwives and psychologists will fan out to all parts of the region to advise women on having babies.

Why September 12? So that babies conceived that day may be born on June 12, Russia’s National Day. Couples who hit the target date win prizes, including refrigerators, TV sets and washing machines. The main prize is an Ulyanovsk-built all-terrain vehicle called Patriot.

Taken without permission from The Hindu: Import Indian bridegrooms for Russian brides.
Also, my apartment mate has already taken Maria Sharapova.

Que sera sera

Seen on a friend's GTalk status message -
"A windfall of millions for a team that won a farcical cricket tournament… and pittance for the heros of the Nehru cup for football and the Asia cup for hockey! No wonder our country will never see beyond cricket!"

People photography

Catching people's faces on film when they are doing anything but looking at the camera - this is one of my favorite forms of photography. And among people, I love taking photographs of strangers. Not people I know.
In the bus. The restaurant, talking animatedly to the one opposite them. The laugh at the end of a joke. Lost in thoughts. Browsing through clothes. Books. Smiling to oneself. Leaning on something. Holding hands. Swinging legs. Playing with their hair. Smiling at a text message.
And the liberal use of zoom.
But taking the photograph is not the toughest part. It's the fact that you need the permission of the person before capturing the shot (or they can sue you or get you arrested for breach of privacy). Catching them at an exhibition or carnival or any public place is the easiest, because photographers are expected there. But other places it's difficult. Also because of the fact that it's a stranger tall guy who has taken a 'liking' to their kid and wants to take a picture. Ow. Or if it's a girl whose picture I want to take. That's the toughest - I break into a sweat and my tongue goes vaguely involuntary.

I had asked a friend - "How do you manage to take photographs of people you don't know?"
"Well, you smile at them, and just hold up the camera. They smile back and continue what they were doing."

Well, may be you have a cute smile. I don't. :) Cause when I smile, for most of them, it's "Uh oh, strange brown man is taking my photograph."
Or "Uh oh, strange brown man has weird smile. Oh dear God he has a camera!!!"

Here is an embed of shots I had taken when people didn't know about it. Please don't sue me, I am just a photography hobbyist.

Damage control - by Miss Teen South Carolina

So Lauren Caitlin's train of thought was yet to board the station when she was asked that famous question about *US Americans* and maps. (Aside, that was a dumb question to ask on a beauty pageant. Aside aside, beauty pageants have lost perspective. Aside aside aside, this post is not about beauty pageants.).
But what I really liked about her was the fact that she appeared on national television, on the Today Show and gave a nice explanation about the *pageant incident*, the repercussions of which made it last week's most-watched-video-on-YouTube.
Was it effective damage control? I don't know about that. But I really admire her comeback. And the self esteem and confidence that came along with it.